Anderson Finally Comes up Clutch; Dodgers Sweep

Goodbye Lunesta and Ambien; you are now sleeping drugs of the past.

If you've got a restless night, throw out your medicine cabinet and head straight for the TiVo. That's right: watching a replay of today's Dodger game against the D-backs will put you into a sleep that is deeper than any pill could ever hope to achieve, and with none of those nasty side effects.

... I take it back: confusion, agitation, and aggression may occur after watching the Dodgers' most recent sweep.

Here's the game summary: G Anderson singled to center,

M Kemp scored. Ari: 0, LAD: 1

Yeah, that's about it.

A 3-game series sweep with 3 walk-off wins (the first time since 1982) should be incredibly exciting - it wasn't. Today's game was the Dodger's second 1-0 walk-off, extra-inning victory in as many days; however, ten innings weren't enough for the Dodgers this time. Instead, they had to continue playing until the crowd (who's total attendance appeared to be in the triple-digits, at best) got another opportunity to sing "Take me Out to the Ball Game," which took place during the 14th inning stretch.

The Dodger recorded only three hits throughout the first nine innings, all of which we're from one player - Jamey Carrol. Carrol has gone 6 for 9 over the last two games, and has absolutely earned his spot as one of Torre's first players off the bench. The first real scoring threat of the game from either team did not come until the bottom of the 10th when Loney began the inning with a double; neither team had a man on third until Matt Kemp was able to achieve the seemingly impossible feat with 2 outs in the bottom of the 14th. What happened next was something just short of a miracle: Garret Anderson (who was 0-5 up to that point and was batting only .156 for the season) was able to knock a blooper to straight away center that dropped safely just milliseconds before being scooped up by the diving Chris Young.

Though Anderson's numbers have been frustrating as of late, the leadership he brings to the team is invaluable.

We learned almost nothing about the Dodgers from this series, except that they have no problem with playing down to their opponent... and it's difficult to even consider Arizona an opponent: the level of baseball they're playing right now doesn't even belong in the minors, let along the majors.

Exhibit A - The Dodgers' starting lineup:

SS Carroll

CF Kemp

RF Ethier

1B Loney

LF Anderson

3B Belliard

2B DeWitt

C Ellis

P Monasterios

If you cannot take advantage of the Dodgers on a day when Torre decides to rest Manny, Casey Blake, Russell Martin, and Rafael Furcal, then you don't deserve to play Major League Baseball. You need both hands to count the number of unrecognizable names used in today's game by the Dodgers.

Exhibit B - The Diamondbacks have now completed 31 scoreless innings

Yes, that's bad. What's even worse is the fact that they have failed to advance a man to third base over that span.

Exhibit C - Today's game was the D-backs tenth loss in a row

They went 0-9 on their road trip. There's not much you can say about it - that's just really bad.

While the Dodgers' offense has certainly looked equally shaky over the last couple of days, I'm not worried. Whether it's by a score of 1-0 or 10-0, we are still winning the games we need to win, and are not wasting the impressive outings turned in by our pitching staff; it's simply a case of playing both up and down to our opponents.

Most importantly, the Dodgers have been beating up on the teams that they need to beat up on - the NL west. The Dodgers have won eight out of nine games against the D-backs this year, 4 out of 5 against San Diego, and have won nine straight series against the Rockies. In total, the Dodgers have an incredible 18-5 record against the NL west.

I'm looking forward to the red-hot braves coming into town tomorrow. They recently swept the Phillies and are riding an eight-game win streak. It should be one hell of a series.

Ely, Kemp Join Forces to Give Dodgers 1-0 Victory

It's official. For the first time in my life, there's no doubt in my mind... I've got myself a bromance.

What is a bromance, you ask?

As defined by "urbandictionary.com," a bromance is a strong and extremely complicated positive emotion that a straight male feels towards another male.

And no, it's not with Matt Kemp. Your welcome, Rihanna... he's still your one and only rude boy. Kemp was tonight's "official" hero after giving the Dodger's a 1-0 victory over the Arizona Diamondbacks with his walk off homer in the bottom of the 10th.

Congrats on the walk-off, Matt... hopefully you'll get a little something something extra from Rihanna tonight.

But no, no way. It is going to take much more than a simple one-run walk-off homer to be my man-crush, especially when it was your first hit of the night against one of the worst teams in baseball.

How about a pitcher that went 7 innings strong in each of his last two games, giving up a whopping 1 earned run in total?

Yeah, you guessed it. It's John Ely... I've got a man crush for the Dodger's 24-year-old starting right-handed pitcher. There, I said it. He pitched an incredible 7 innings tonight, giving up 2 hits, two walks, and zero earned runs, and looked unbelievably calm along the way. Did I mention he's only a rookie? Ely has started 7 games thus far; if you forget about his first outing, he has averaged 6.2 innings pitched with an era of 1.33 over the remaining 6 games.

No, that's not a typo.

Yes, he's truly only a rookie.

In fact, the only reason Ely was called up from AAA on May 10th was to temporarily replace injured Charlie Haeger. Nonetheless, one thing is for sure: at Ely's current rate, or anything even in the realm of it, his stint in the starting rotation is far from temporary... it will be as permanent as our hatred of the San Fransisco Giants. With that said, it would be unfair for Dodgers fans to expect these types of outings from Ely each game.... we must have realistic expectations and understand that there will certainly be highs and lows, especially from a pitcher of his age. But as of right now, you have my full permission to enjoy the ride as long as possible.

Can I say it again? He's a rookie!

Here's the problem: my sudden bromance with John Ely has gotten the best of my conscience and has convinced me that I can't continue living this double-life; consequently, I must come come clean and divorce my first true love - the Dodger's offense. Why? Because you can't be in love with something that doesn't exist. A pitcher should NEVER have to throw 7 strong innings in back to back games, giving up a combined ERA of 0.5, and be rewarded with a loss in the first game (lost Thursday to Cubs, 0-1) and a no-decision tonight. Way to go, Dodger offense. Way to go. Pat yourselves on the back.

Before you begin sympathizing with Ely, however, give the D-backs' offense a quick thought, specifically Dan Haren. Haren pitched brilliantly tonight: he pitched 8 scoreless innings and outlasted the seemingly unshakeable Ely. AJ Hinch, the D-backs manager, did everything he possibly could to keep Haren in the game and refrain from turning the ball over to that abysmal, awfully good-for-nothing thing their organization calls a bullpen. After 126 pitches, however, Hinch had no choice but to pull Har=ren; long story short, Arizona's bullpen lost the game... again. What else would you expect from the bullpen with the worst ERA in MLB? If I was a starting pitcher for the D-backs, I would act as though I was scheduled to start on the road at Coors field for every game; that way, I can refuse to pitch and avoid having to face the harsh reality that has plagued my starting rotation all season: I can either go out their and pitch nine perfect innings, or hand the ball over to my bullpen and, no matter the score, (automatically) lose.

As for the D-Backs in the future? Maybe their recent trade acquisition, Dontrelle Willis, will turn things around for the organization... Oh, excuse me, I was just laughing-out-loud at my own joke.