Ely, Kemp Join Forces to Give Dodgers 1-0 Victory

It's official. For the first time in my life, there's no doubt in my mind... I've got myself a bromance.

What is a bromance, you ask?

As defined by "urbandictionary.com," a bromance is a strong and extremely complicated positive emotion that a straight male feels towards another male.

And no, it's not with Matt Kemp. Your welcome, Rihanna... he's still your one and only rude boy. Kemp was tonight's "official" hero after giving the Dodger's a 1-0 victory over the Arizona Diamondbacks with his walk off homer in the bottom of the 10th.

Congrats on the walk-off, Matt... hopefully you'll get a little something something extra from Rihanna tonight.

But no, no way. It is going to take much more than a simple one-run walk-off homer to be my man-crush, especially when it was your first hit of the night against one of the worst teams in baseball.

How about a pitcher that went 7 innings strong in each of his last two games, giving up a whopping 1 earned run in total?

Yeah, you guessed it. It's John Ely... I've got a man crush for the Dodger's 24-year-old starting right-handed pitcher. There, I said it. He pitched an incredible 7 innings tonight, giving up 2 hits, two walks, and zero earned runs, and looked unbelievably calm along the way. Did I mention he's only a rookie? Ely has started 7 games thus far; if you forget about his first outing, he has averaged 6.2 innings pitched with an era of 1.33 over the remaining 6 games.

No, that's not a typo.

Yes, he's truly only a rookie.

In fact, the only reason Ely was called up from AAA on May 10th was to temporarily replace injured Charlie Haeger. Nonetheless, one thing is for sure: at Ely's current rate, or anything even in the realm of it, his stint in the starting rotation is far from temporary... it will be as permanent as our hatred of the San Fransisco Giants. With that said, it would be unfair for Dodgers fans to expect these types of outings from Ely each game.... we must have realistic expectations and understand that there will certainly be highs and lows, especially from a pitcher of his age. But as of right now, you have my full permission to enjoy the ride as long as possible.

Can I say it again? He's a rookie!

Here's the problem: my sudden bromance with John Ely has gotten the best of my conscience and has convinced me that I can't continue living this double-life; consequently, I must come come clean and divorce my first true love - the Dodger's offense. Why? Because you can't be in love with something that doesn't exist. A pitcher should NEVER have to throw 7 strong innings in back to back games, giving up a combined ERA of 0.5, and be rewarded with a loss in the first game (lost Thursday to Cubs, 0-1) and a no-decision tonight. Way to go, Dodger offense. Way to go. Pat yourselves on the back.

Before you begin sympathizing with Ely, however, give the D-backs' offense a quick thought, specifically Dan Haren. Haren pitched brilliantly tonight: he pitched 8 scoreless innings and outlasted the seemingly unshakeable Ely. AJ Hinch, the D-backs manager, did everything he possibly could to keep Haren in the game and refrain from turning the ball over to that abysmal, awfully good-for-nothing thing their organization calls a bullpen. After 126 pitches, however, Hinch had no choice but to pull Har=ren; long story short, Arizona's bullpen lost the game... again. What else would you expect from the bullpen with the worst ERA in MLB? If I was a starting pitcher for the D-backs, I would act as though I was scheduled to start on the road at Coors field for every game; that way, I can refuse to pitch and avoid having to face the harsh reality that has plagued my starting rotation all season: I can either go out their and pitch nine perfect innings, or hand the ball over to my bullpen and, no matter the score, (automatically) lose.

As for the D-Backs in the future? Maybe their recent trade acquisition, Dontrelle Willis, will turn things around for the organization... Oh, excuse me, I was just laughing-out-loud at my own joke.